Core of Toxic Relationships – Codependence

Codependence is a mindset that is at the core of toxic relating and toxic, enmeshed, relationships. It is mindest that leads people, often without being aware of it, to try to get their needs met by and/or through others. Neediness permeates what are weak boundaries to begin with. On one side of the toxic, emeshed, codependent relationship is the needy person. On the other is the person who ends up trying to meet the insatiable needs of that person neglecting his or her own needs in the process. Unresolved abandonment issues manifested and expressed in different ways is the major common link between people in this relational dynamic.

What Is Abandonment?

What is abandonment? Are you feeling like you are suffering the emotional and psychological pain of unresolved abandonment issues from your past in the here-and-now? Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you just can’t find the right partner? Are you lonely? Do you feel less than everyone else? Do you have a sense of something inside that causes you pain – pain that you find ways to distract yourself from? Pain that you may drink or take drugs or feel a need to be highly chaotic and intense relationships to avoid? To one degree or another everyone experiences some feelings or perception of abandonment in childhood. Some, however, are more injured or wounded emotionally and psychologically than others. As a life coach I work with many who are not happy, feeling stuck, have not been able to successfully have a happy and healthy relationship and often don’t understand why. Over-focusing on partners and ex-partners or even still the judgments or values of parents instead of looking within. Does this sound familiar? Would you like to stop hurting? You will benefit from understanding abandonment and its lasting issues.