The more you live with, in, from, and through unresolved past issues in your life, the more you are and will remain disconnected from who the Self in you really is today – from who you really are. Footsteps of unresolved emotions from the past cast a long shadow that effects people knowing who they really are and negatively impacts relationships.
Emotional Competence, specifically, to begin with, learning to observe your feelings without reacting to them, is a central beginning in over-coming, among other things, codependency. Author and Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, knows this from her own journey of recovery 15 years ago and from her work with hundreds of clients who have unresolved abandonment issues at the center of what is manifesting as codependency in their lives. Emotional mastery is the challenge when one has unresolved abandonment issues that feul codependent styles of relating. Codependent relating is often very painful and re-plays out unresolved abandonment wounds from one’s past in relationships.
Accepting the pain of transformation and engaging it fully is part of the process of beginning to resolve what has remained unresolved abandonment in your life. Transformation is a process of change. Chosen change. Change, by its very nature is often a painful process. Transformation is a process of change in nature or character. The type of transformation that unfolds in the process of personal growth, healing, and recovery. Transformation by its very nature produces pain and/or discomfort. This pain and discomfort has its roots in the unresolved abandonment of childhood, which for some, is more profound than for others and might involve intense fear of abandonment that arouses powerful aversion to connecting to this transformative pain.
Codependence is a mindset that is at the core of toxic relating and toxic, enmeshed, relationships. It is mindest that leads people, often without being aware of it, to try to get their needs met by and/or through others. Neediness permeates what are weak boundaries to begin with. On one side of the toxic, emeshed, codependent relationship is the needy person. On the other is the person who ends up trying to meet the insatiable needs of that person neglecting his or her own needs in the process. Unresolved abandonment issues manifested and expressed in different ways is the major common link between people in this relational dynamic.
Life coach, A.J. Mahari, in her latest audio, How To Identify a Toxic Relationship, gives listeners 7 tips on how to identify a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships are becoming much more common than most people may realize. So common, in fact, toxic relationships are the new normal for way too many people. A new normal that is painful and mentally and physically dangerous to health.
A major consequence of unresolved abandonment is codependence. Codependence is very common for many who struggle with issues that they may not recognize stem from unresolved abandonment that see them in unhealthy relationships. Often people with unresolved abandonment issues will encounter a series of dysfunctional, painful, and even toxic relationships. There are obstacles to change that Life Coach A.J. Mahari helps her clients become more aware of and learn to let go of so that they can move forward and end codependent patterns of relating.