Footsteps of the Past Obstruct The Here and Now

The more you live with, in, from, and through unresolved past issues in your life, the more you are and will remain disconnected from who the Self in you really is today – from who you really are. Footsteps of unresolved emotions from the past cast a long shadow that effects people knowing who they really are and negatively impacts relationships.

Unresolved Abandonment and Negative Expectations – Break Free

Life Coach and author, A.J. Mahari, has many coaching clients who are dealing with varying degrees of consequences, in their own individual lives and life situations, that are all related to unresolved abandonment issues. Does everyone who has unresolved abandonment end up being diagnosed with a mental illness?

Core Abandonment Issues

Author and Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, works with many clients who have as central to many of their life challenges and need for change core abandonment issues. This is particularly evident in those who have Borderline Personality Disorder. However, many professionals believe that each and every single person has, to one degree or another, experience with core abandonment wounds or issues. What does this mean?

Unresolved Abandonment Negatively Impacts Relating

In this video, Life Coach, A.J. Mahari talks about the reality that unresolved abandonment negatively impacts relating and relationships. Unresolved abandonment is a key ingredient in the mix in the making of toxic relationships.
Abandonment Negatively Impacts Relating and Relationships – Unresolved abandonment causes untold emotional and psychological suffering and is at the root of toxic relating and toxic relationships and codependency.

Emotional Competence – Part of Overcoming Codependency

Emotional Competence, specifically, to begin with, learning to observe your feelings without reacting to them, is a central beginning in over-coming, among other things, codependency. Author and Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, knows this from her own journey of recovery 15 years ago and from her work with hundreds of clients who have unresolved abandonment issues at the center of what is manifesting as codependency in their lives. Emotional mastery is the challenge when one has unresolved abandonment issues that feul codependent styles of relating. Codependent relating is often very painful and re-plays out unresolved abandonment wounds from one’s past in relationships.

Accepting The Pain of Transformation

Accepting the pain of transformation and engaging it fully is part of the process of beginning to resolve what has remained unresolved abandonment in your life. Transformation is a process of change. Chosen change. Change, by its very nature is often a painful process. Transformation is a process of change in nature or character. The type of transformation that unfolds in the process of personal growth, healing, and recovery. Transformation by its very nature produces pain and/or discomfort. This pain and discomfort has its roots in the unresolved abandonment of childhood, which for some, is more profound than for others and might involve intense fear of abandonment that arouses powerful aversion to connecting to this transformative pain.

Grief – A Process of Gaining Perspective and Coping

Grief is what it is. Grief is a part of life. Grief is a process that unfolds whenever we suffer, experience, or feel loss. Some reasons for grief are obvious – the death of a loved one, loss of a job or relationship, for example. Reasons for grief can be subtle – unfinished emotional baggage (abandonment issues) from childhood interfering with goal identification and achievement in the here and now, for example. Life Coach, A.J. Mahari outlines 7 keys that help the grief process and 7 keys that hinder the process of grieving.

Suffering is a Choice Related to Unresolved Abandonment Issues

Many people experience their emotional suffering as something that is outside of them. Something over which they have no control. The fact is that suffering is really a choice. Say what? Before you get angry or think I’m trying to say everything is your fault, please consider the difference between reacting to feelings related to the experience of events and/or circumstances – abandoning your emotional control versus empowering yourself by realizing and becoming more aware of the many choices that you can make. Choices that don’t have to involve you reacting to what you feel based upon events or circumstance.

What Is Abandonment?

What is abandonment? Are you feeling like you are suffering the emotional and psychological pain of unresolved abandonment issues from your past in the here-and-now? Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you just can’t find the right partner? Are you lonely? Do you feel less than everyone else? Do you have a sense of something inside that causes you pain – pain that you find ways to distract yourself from? Pain that you may drink or take drugs or feel a need to be highly chaotic and intense relationships to avoid? To one degree or another everyone experiences some feelings or perception of abandonment in childhood. Some, however, are more injured or wounded emotionally and psychologically than others. As a life coach I work with many who are not happy, feeling stuck, have not been able to successfully have a happy and healthy relationship and often don’t understand why. Over-focusing on partners and ex-partners or even still the judgments or values of parents instead of looking within. Does this sound familiar? Would you like to stop hurting? You will benefit from understanding abandonment and its lasting issues.

Abandonment is at the Heart of Borderline Personality Disorder

The fundamentally foundational epicenter of Borderline Personality Disorder is abandonment. This abandonment experience can be actual or perceived. Abandonment that is perceived is still very real to the person perceiving it. Many people are unaware of the scope and nature of the wide and encompassing spectrum of all that abandonment is. Abandonment can be very […]

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