Emotional Competence – Part of Overcoming Codependency

Emotional Competence, specifically, to begin with, learning to observe your feelings without reacting to them, is a central beginning in over-coming, among other things, codependency. Author and Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, knows this from her own journey of recovery 15 years ago and from her work with hundreds of clients who have unresolved abandonment issues at the center of what is manifesting as codependency in their lives. Emotional mastery is the challenge when one has unresolved abandonment issues that feul codependent styles of relating. Codependent relating is often very painful and re-plays out unresolved abandonment wounds from one’s past in relationships.

A.J. Mahari, in her role and capacity as a life coach, coaches her clients, among other methods of coaching she practices,  in what she calls, Emotional Mastery Coaching. Emotional mastery involves opening to an increasing awareness of the negative core beliefs and negative limiting beliefs and thoughts that lurk behind the many emotional triggers that dysregulate emotion. It is the triggered dysregulated emotions that people are not skilled at coping with that contribute to the fearing and avoidance of feelings. This in turn leaves people needing a great deal. Having needs that they do not know how to meet. People then often turn to others in attempts to have other’s meet their needs. This often isn’t a very conscious process. It is essentially what codependency is – needing someone else to meet needs you need to learn how to meet. Or trying to meet the needs of someone else who needs to learn how to meet their own needs.

Mastering your emotions, coping effectively in healthy ways with your own emotions is at the heart of learning how to cope with those feelings and the needs that they present in ways that support your taking personal responsibility for meeting your own needs so that you can learn how to relate to others from a secure trusting place of inter-dependence.

One of the main components of emotional mastery is emotional competence. In her latest video, Author and Life Coach, A.J. Mahari, outlines and examines three main building blocks of emotional competence. Three building blocks that will help you to understand the need to search for your authentic self – and/or the need to continue to grow more fully into your own authenticity. A.J. Mahari provides, among her life coaching services, emotional mastery coaching and courses that you can read more about at phoenixrisingpublications.ca designed to help you faciliate increasing your emotional competence, happiness, and goal achievement in your life.

Emotional competence is a journey, not a destination. No one wakes up one day 100 percent, perfectly competent. However, there is a middle-ground to achieve, find, and hold on to as a way of life when it comes to emotional competence. A middle-ground from which life can be lived in emotionally peaceful ways that are positive, life-affirming and mentally healthy. A middle-ground that supports inter-dependent living and relating versus codependent living and relating.

         LIFE COACHING With A.J. Mahari

Too many people have become too used to being overly attached to their own pain and to the isolating negativity of that pain. And, the hopelessness that negativity perpetuates. Emotional suffering does become a bad habit over time. There is choice involved. You can learn to set yourself free. You really can. The search for a beginning connection or a deeper connection, depending where you are in your own life journey, to your authentic self, is the way to much more conscious awareness of that soul-filled self that awaits your compassionate nurture and stewardship.

Be your own best friend!

© A.J. Mahari, March 13, 2010 – All rights reserved.

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